I used to think... I shall blog what's happy... what shall be kept as memories but unfortunately, i come to this blog whenever i'm in trouble, i'm emotional, i'm unhappy and there's no one suitable to listen to what i would like to say.
Make this simple, i made him unhappy and i dont fucking know the exact reason. I would have to start this story all from the start,where it starts with an end that i have towards my examination.
I finish my paper "happily"... Like, yeah right... I'm not even happy because i knew i screw the paper... Went for lunch with wan yin and her classmate in jusco and do some window shopping and off i'm home.
I decided not to take a nap because i know if i did, i would screw up with the nap and unable to attend the very last dinner of Fabulour Four. I went online, had some fun with games and off i go...
We were like waiting for almost an hour in TARC hostel to make sure everyone arrives and off we go to Desa Sri Hartamas for dinner. It was at Souled Out. We ordered and had our dinner and celebrated Woon Kin's birthday there.
After dinner, they decided to go to Kepong for a drink. In a pub. Overtime. I went with them and i came home late. My bf drove me home.
I knew he was unhappy and i seriously dont know what i did... for all the reason he said no to.... what are the rest that it could possibly be?
The last time it happened like this was because i refuses to tell what's wrong with me.... I kept it all... I keep everything or rather really everything is because i doesn't want any arguement going all around... Since i'm such a forgetful person... I might just forget it the next day and lifes goes on...
But it doesn't apply to it when someone keeps repeating it. I felt his anger towards me since yesterday till this very moment not knowing the exact reason... He said i doesn't even know the reason and would never change... Could that be hint telling me that is the same reason for all i have kept something from him and not telling him what i felt?
Could what i have posted in his facebook status was a fault?
Or the reason is that i've been quite all day long?
He said nothing related to a 3rd party and that's all i can think of... or rather, i would think is a fault... Or have i done something that i dont even know is a fault? The dumbness in me? or the attitude i have toward's life that is wrong?
Now, this is an unknown that i will never know unless i really do something to find out... Emotional isn't it... I felt like crying but i keep them back... I should have no reason to cry... I just gotta be strong and face the problem... I must do something about it... Sighs, but for me... I sure cry when i start speaking the very first word... or after awhile after i start talking... something born in me makes me express my emotion through tears...
